o Mo-hab took unto himself a Wife, and her name is not important, for she shamed Mo-hab by fornication with his brother, and Mo-hab stoned her, and beat her, and cursed her, and left her to die.
o Mo-hab took under himself a second Wife, and her name was Beth-she-dah, and Beth-she-dah was virtuous, and circumspect.
o Beth-she-dah bore Mo-hab two sons, and two daughters, and the names of the sons were Ah-mel and Randy, and the names of the daughters are unimportant.
o And Mo-hab's first wife did not die, and lived in Sin with Mo-hab's brother, and Mo-hab called upon the Moon Goddess for vengeance, but his prayers were not heard.
o So Mo-hab took up a stone, and killed his brother, and went into his first wife and she bore him another son, Art.
o And Mo-hab went into his daughters, and they bore him more daughters whose names are unimportant, and a son whose name was Ka-mel.
o And Art went into Mo-hab's daughters, and Ah-mel went into Mo-hab's first Wife, and two more sons were born, and their names were Kin-tew and Fre-lat.
o And Art lay with Ka-mel as with a woman, and Mo-hab was shamed and Mo-hab stoned Art and Ka-mel and left them to die.
o Then Mo-hab was very old, and his staff would not rise and his seed would not flow and he was weary. Beth-she-dah came to him and made to lay with him, but he would not. And Beth-she-dah came again to lay with him, but he would not. Each night for forty nights, and each morning for forty mornings, Beth-she-dah came to lay with Mo-hab but his staff would not rise.
o And Beth-she-dah ripened with child, and Mo-hab praised his virtuous wife, and gave presents unto her, and promised his kingdom if the child were a male. And this is the Second Mystery, for Mo=hab's staff had never risen.
o And the child was born, and it was male, and Mo-hab was pleased and stoned no one that day.
o And the child's name was Jesus, and he worshipped not the Moon Goddess, and spake of the Invisible Pal, and the people were suspicious, and angry, and they stoned him, but he did not die.
o And the people tied his hands, and bound his feet, and filled his pockets with stones, and tossed him into the River, but he did not die.
o And the people muttered about the Invisible Pal, and some began to worship unto It, and the people were more angry and they took him, and beat him, and nailed him to a tree, but he did not die.
o Then Mo-hab arose from his bed and spake unto his son Jesus. "I have given you my kingdom. My staff will no longer rise, and my seed will not flow. You add to my miseries with your insufferable Invisible Pal."
o And Jesus repented, and sacrificed his first daughter to the Moon Goddess, and anointed his first son with her blood, and promised that the generations of Jesus would not worship Invisible Pal.
o But Jesus was not truthful in his heart, and in the next winter he stole into his parent's tent and stoned Mo-hab and Beth-she-dah, and killed them both, and then he owned the Kingdom and he spake unto his people and told them to worship Invisible Pal or they would die. And the people listened, and knew the truth.
o And Jesus ruled for forty years, and the people worshipped Invisible Pal and none worshipped the Moon Goddess at all.
o Then Jesus walked amongst the people, and tripped upon a root, and fell to the earth, and he was dead. And the people stoned the root, and burned the tree from which it grew, and gnashed their teeth and beat their wives and daughters. And they all forgot about Invisible Pal and made sacrifice to the Moon Goddess again.
o And then Her Holiness returned to the Earth, and looked upon the people and said "What is this? Hairless apes? Fricking ugliest things I've ever seen!". And the people prostrated themselves to Her Holiness, and gnashed their teeth, and groveled most virtuously, and the Holy IPU looked upon them and said "Get a life!", and she left yet again.
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